First Down and Ten Commandments: What GOD Thinks about the NFL

 

1.  He prefers Monday Night Football, and doesn’t think games should be played on a Sunday.

2.  He likes the Saints, and wants them to be joined by the Angels, Padres, Bishops and Deacons to form a separate NFC Spiritual division.

3. He likes the concept of the Hail Mary and suggests that if a team comes from behind by more than            21 points in the final quarter, the winning touchdown or field goal should be called a “Lazarus.”

4. In similar vein, the St Augustine Award should be given to the player who cleans up his act the most in any one season.

5. He doesn’t like Instant Replay as he doesn’t believe in going back. (See Mrs. Lot).

6. He is very busy and as a result suggests cutting out some ads so he doesn’t have to waste three hours watching 12 minutes of action.

7. He suggests that some selected games should be played in Rome and Jerusalem.

8. He thinks that the “illegal man downfield” rule should be scrapped.

9. He reminds us that, first and foremost, NFL stands for ‘Never Forget Love.’

10. He is still working on this one, so please leave your e-mail. Be one of the first to know when The Tenth Commandment is delivered!

Howard Rankin interviewed Pastor GODonnell for this piece.

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